May is a horrible month for me these days, so many waves of grief and emotions that I have been struggling a lot more recently as it's coming up to a year. We are having a memorial for Jay on the 18th in Batley as that's where all his family live, he loved a good party so hopefully we can remember him the way he would want us to, with a rum and a dance.
My house is starting to look more like a home again however i hate living here, the flash backs and the memories of that day still over rule the happy memory's but i know in time that will fade, just needs to fade quicker!
We have got out the house a lot more, I've been taking the girls swimming! Iyla is an amazing little swimmer just like her mummy and daddy proper little water baby. Esmee is onto her stage 3, this time last year she wouldn't even get in a pool without clinging onto her dad. We have been to Leeds museum, spent a lot of time with my mum, who apparently lives next door to elephants according to a 3 year old!
My anxiety is slightly better with less panic attacks but I have managed to figure out how to not have them. Music is the best way.
I am now addicted to Game of Thrones which i said i would NEVER watch after watching the first 3 episodes with Jay we hated it. I started it last week I am know half way through season 5.
The elephants are very quiet i dont think they like rain... your home is very cosy and holds many more good memories then bad ones.. they will surface and become the most important ones eventually i think it will help if you paint the ceilings ha ha xxx
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